"For Love & Money is a column from Business Insider answering your relationship and money questions. This week, a reader is frustrated that his partner of nearly a decade is avoidant with financial planning. Our columnist suggests either being comfortable with separate finances or gently guiding his partner along her personal finance journey. Dear For Love & Money, My partner and I have been together for almost 10 years now."
"One of the most complicated parts of sharing a life with someone is that, as much as we may imagine ourselves as two parts of the same whole, we are still different people growing at different rates and wanting different things. We may romanticize opposites attracting, but forging a life with someone who has different hang-ups, desires, and experiences is hard work."
Partners have followed different personal finance journeys over nearly a decade, with one partner actively learning to manage debt, save, and invest while the other avoids financial conversations. Attempts to discuss future goals often trigger avoidance, deflection, or defensiveness, leaving one partner frustrated and feeling like the only one contributing toward shared goals. The options are to establish comfort with largely separate finances and pursue goals independently, or to gently guide the avoidant partner through personalized financial education and gradual involvement. Building shared financial plans requires patience, empathy, respect for differing growth rates, clear communication, and small, nonthreatening steps.
Read at Business Insider
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