"It's time for a conversation-don't assume this flirting is off limits just because you're monogamous. It very well may be for your boyfriend, but some clarity would be useful here. Explain to him why you want to flirt and that you're not looking for it to go further, you just want a little shine for your recent glow-up. As for how else to scratch the itch while in a committed relationship?"
"One way people do it is through open relationships. They aren't always easy and most require, at minimum, regular communication and flexibility to tweak rules as life shows them to be faulty. But! It's the best way to get the genuine newness that you crave while staying committed to your partner. This is, by the way, something you can do together-plenty of open couples adhere to we-only-play-together clauses in their rules."
Open communication about the desire for external attention is essential. Explain to a partner that flirting can be about feeling admired rather than seeking infidelity. Negotiate clear boundaries around acceptable behavior and outcomes to avoid misunderstandings. Consider consensual nonmonogamy or negotiated open-relationship arrangements to provide safe newness while maintaining primary commitment. Such arrangements require regular communication, flexibility, and rule adjustments as needed. Couples can create shared rules like playing together only. Also explore in-relationship solutions, such as changing sexual dynamics or partner-supported ways to receive outside acknowledgment without crossing agreed limits.
Read at Slate Magazine
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