My daughter is in an open relationship, but I can tell she's unhappy. When she first told me about it, I asked genuine questions out of curiosity, but she became defensive. She even tried to guilt me into being more progressive and open-minded. I know that in this day and age, there is a whole new way to date, but as a mother, it seems like my daughter has agreed to this dynamic because she likes her boyfriend.
Every person's sexual journey fluctuates. Try not to think of your relationship needs or your ability to tolerate different types of sexual unions in a finite way. Your needs as you are experiencing them now may well change in the future; at a certain time you might become less ambivalent and find some clarity and a comfortable path or not. At some point you might meet someone who provides a transformative opportunity for you by