I'm Having the Sex I Once Dreamed Of. But It's Left Me Feeling Very Conflicted.

A person is seeing multiple partners and having sex three or four days per week. They enjoy the experience but have recently felt exhausted by the idea of more sex when alone. Sexy messages trigger a first reaction of burnout, yet in person they become turned on again through kissing and touching. Sometimes arousal drops once sex begins, leading to orgasm without feeling engaged or satisfied. They describe performing to get a partner through sex and worry about stopping or changing course mid-sex. They want to understand how to tell whether they are truly in the mood and how to handle desire shifts while respecting partners and enthusiastic consent.

"I'm currently seeing a few different wonderful partners, all three of whom are eager to see me at least weekly. But I think I might be having too much sex. We don't have sex every time, but pretty much every time. So altogether, I end up having sex three or four days out of the week, which isn't that wild on the spectrum of the human experience, but much more than I'm used to. This has been ongoing since around December, and I've loved it so far."

"However, for the past few weeks, I've noticed that when I'm alone, the thought of having more sex seems exhausting, and if I get sexy texts, my first reaction is something like a burned-out sigh. I feel like I want to take a break. But when I'm actually with any one of my partners, I get turned on again. In fact, on several occasions, I've said I wasn't in the mood, but changed my mind once they started touching or kissing me, and I became aroused."

"The other thing that concerns me is that sometimes, once we move from the foreplay into sex proper, that arousal comes right back down again, and I kind of disconnect. My body is responsive, I orgasm, but it doesn't feel satisfying or engaging in the way it usually does, and I end up performing to get my partner through it, which I don't want to do! But I also feel like it's kind of messed up to yank them back and forth"

"It seems easier and more generous to just keep going once we're already that far in. This doesn't happen every time. I love most of the sex I'm having. But I have no idea how to figure out whether I'm really in the mood or not, or whether"

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