"About 15 years ago when I was in my early 20s, I dated a woman who I'd known previously as an acquaintance. We were never that serious, but we did have sex multiple times over the course of a few months. Looking back on this, I am mostly embarrassed by my lack of ability to be a decent sexual partner. I was pretty inexperienced sexually (it was maybe my fourth sexual experience) and a little terrified."
"I came without a condom. In my memory, I assured her it'll be fine, "I already came once. I'll be good now." It was not fine: I had the urge to come again within a few minutes, she seemed closer so I didn't want to stop, and I ended up coming inside of her without a condom. She still did not come, and I just lay down and we fell asleep."
"Now, years later, I feel like she deserves an apology from me. Did I violate her trust? Was there clear consent? Well, clearly the consent wasn't clear and maybe it wasn't there at all. I really don't know or remember, but the guilt deep in my stomach tells me that the answer is maybe that it wasn't. We're still friends on social media, and I have this urge to write her and apologi"
Fifteen years ago a man in his early twenties had several sexual encounters with a woman he had known casually. He was inexperienced and anxious. During one encounter he ejaculated with a condom, resumed sex without clear conversation, and ejaculated inside her without a condom after assuring her he would be fine. She did not orgasm and they did not discuss the incident. They ceased sexual relations but remained occasional acquaintances. Years later he experiences deep guilt, questions whether there was meaningful consent or a violation of trust, and feels compelled to apologize to her through social media.
Read at Slate Magazine
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