First, I can't see anything embarrassing here. I know it can feel like life has a narrative we're meant to move through at certain ages, but you're telling me that instead of breaking hearts or throwing up at university, you were taking care of someone you loved as they passed? What about this could be anything other than a credit to you?
We're all on different timelines for love and fun. That's especially true in queer dating, where people arrive brand new at 30, or 60, or after whole heterosexual marriages, feeling versions of the inexperience you're feeling now.
It sounds as though you feel you've missed out on a big educational experience. You're right that there's stuff about dating you can only learn by doing what you like.
You should consider exploring places or activities aligned with your interests where you might meet like-minded women. Look for local art classes, nature hikes, or theater events.
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