I thought being a grandma would be easy. I've learned to respect boundaries and follow rules that aren't mine.

"Take the ring pop. That glittering, oversize jewel on a plastic band is my go-to treat. But in my grandkids' home, sugar and red dye were not allowed. I thought that rule surely did not apply when they were at my place. Turns out it did. I could sneak candy when Mom and Dad weren't looking, or I could respect their wishes. The latter is boring but safer. Defying the rules might cost me precious time with the kids, so I put away the ring pops."

"It turns out that following the rules paid off. The no-sugar and no-red-dye policy eased, and now I can hand over a ring pop without guilt when they are with me. If I'd fought it, I might not have had the chance. Respect builds trust, and the freedom to fish candy out of my purse again. I had to set my own boundaries"

Grandparenting included unexpected rules, compromises, and more drama than anticipated. Respecting parents' no-sugar and no-red-dye rules created trust and eventually allowed more freedom. Setting personal boundaries became necessary when visions of where and how to grandparent differed, including who hosts and who travels. Regular drives and childcare tasks challenged energy levels later in life. Balancing respect for parents' choices with clear, gentle limits helped maintain relationships. Serving as a sounding board for parents about worries and stress became part of the role, alongside offering affection and occasional treats within agreed boundaries.

Read at Business Insider