I So Badly Want to Date and Connect With People. But a Certain Part of Me Sends People Running for the Hills.

"I've struggled with my penis size since adolescence, and I'm now entering my late 20s. This isn't body dysmorphia; I'm barely above the threshold for a micropenis. I've had a handful of sexual encounters, none of which were particularly positive, and I've never been able to trust someone enough to even try to pursue a relationship. I've also had many experiences hearing female friends disparage their former male partners' penis size, and most of my sexual experiences have included some expression of disappointment when my underwear comes off."

"I realize that an ideal partner won't care and I don't want to be with someone who is overly concerned about these things blah blah blah, but hearing women who I otherwise respect and care about expressing these feelings has made it hard to 1) believe I have a chance of meeting a woman I'm compatible with and 2) believe a woman who did say she enjoyed my penis. If my friends were capable of pretending to tolerate these things, it's hard not to think that that's what would be happening in other scenarios. I also fear potential social stigma here, where former partners will weaponize my body against me for a cheap laugh."

"This has been particularly challenging because lately it hasn't felt worthwhile to form an emotional connection with someone enough to get intimate, as the time and effort to get there would be wasted the second she saw me naked. I've discussed this in therapy, but the truisms and platitudes about what matters with penis size are much harder to believe in comparison to the anecdotal perspectives I've been exposed to. I'd appreciate any perspective that can help me find the motivation/confidence to try and find the connection I desire."

A person with micropenis-level concerns reports repeated negative sexual experiences and difficulty trusting partners. Female friends’ comments about past partners’ penis size have reinforced pessimism and made it hard to believe in a compatible relationship. The person fears social stigma and the possibility that ex-partners could mock their body. They avoid emotional connection because intimacy feels pointless if the partner will be disappointed after seeing them naked. Therapy has helped, but general advice feels less convincing than personal anecdotes. They seek perspective to regain motivation and confidence to pursue the relationship they want.

Read at Slate Magazine