Well, the first time we tried, my husband Carl simply grabbed me and pinned me down in about a second and a half. He didn't even seem to be trying all that hard, just kind of held me down while I wriggled and tried to get out or at least loosen his grip.
There are martial arts that might fast-track you, but I'm not sure you want to be throwing each other around that way—there's a higher chance of damaging yourselves or furniture.
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