I Lost My Father-and the Illusion of My Mother - Tiny Buddha

In July 2023, a tragic accident claimed the life of the author's father, leading to an unexpected revelation about the author's mother. Just two months later, she left her family's home in Florida to be with a long-time love, Roy, whom she had secretly cherished. Despite the efforts to create a comfortable retirement home for them, the mother had already planned her departure, highlighting a profound emotional detachment. In January, she remarried and changed her last name, discarding decades of shared identity, and embraced a new life while the family mourned their loss.

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. In July 2023, my father died in a tragic accident. We were devastated-my sisters, my mother, and I. Or so I thought. What followed in the months after his death forced me to confront the truth of my mother's emotional disconnection, a truth I had sensed but never fully allowed myself to see. In losing my father, I also lost the illusion of the mother I thought I had.

By September, just two months after my father's death, my mother packed up and left the home we had just helped her settle into. She moved from Florida to Alabama to be with a man she had secretly loved for years-her high school crush. A man she had long referred to as her "co-author." He had been a nightly fixture in her life for a while. She would stay on the phone with him late into the evening, even while my dad slept in the next room.

The house we bought wasn't her sanctuary. It was a stopover. She didn't ask us for help moving. She didn't even warn us. She bought new luggage, made quiet arrangements, and disappeared. We were suddenly bombarded with text messages filled with excitement: stories of her "new life," her "adventures," and her rediscovered love. She glowed with freedom while the rest of us were still gasping for air.

By January-six months after my father died-she was married to Roy. She changed her last name. She discarded decades of shared identity with my father like she was shedding an old coat.

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