"The people I'd attract into my life would leave me feeling completely drained. You know the type: The ones who treat you like their personal therapist, who somehow turn every conversation into their crisis, and who take and take but never seem to give back. I kept wondering why this kept happening to me. Was I wearing some invisible sign that said "emotional dumping ground?" Then I realized something uncomfortable: I was the common denominator."
"Whenever there was a pause in conversation, I'd jump in with questions, stories, anything to keep things flowing. What I didn't realize was that I was creating a dynamic where I was doing all the emotional labor. Those silences? They're necessary. They give other people space to contribute, to think, to actually engage rather than just consume. Now, when there's a pause, I let it breathe."
I repeatedly attracted people who left me emotionally drained and discovered that I was the common denominator. I changed seven small habits and the energy vampires disappeared. I began attracting people who energized me instead of exhausting me. I stopped rushing to fill every silence and learned that pauses give others space to contribute, think, and engage rather than simply consume. Allowing silence revealed who would reciprocate and who would not. I also recognized that I had become everyone's go-to problem-solver, habitually switching into solution mode, asking follow-ups, offering advice, and validating feelings until friendships centered on my helping others.
Read at Silicon Canals
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]