I Have a Sex Agreement With My Husband. But He Is Super Judgmental Every Time I Do It.

"Consider this: Maybe the price you pay for being in this particular open relationship with this particular husband is mild judgment. He knows what the deal is. Maybe he doesn't absolutely love it, and never will. He may have a hard time with complete empathy, though it's clear that he has the capacity for at least some empathy: He's not vetoing you."

"He understands that your libido is higher than his. It seems that he's accepted it and is dealing with it. Could he be doing that better? Probably. Most of us could be doing a lot of what we do better, but we're saddled with the inherent flaws of humanity."

A husband in a 20-year same-sex marriage seeks advice about navigating his open relationship arrangement. His higher sex drive requires occasional outside partners, while his demisexual husband has a much lower libido. Though they negotiated the open arrangement, the husband expresses subtle disapproval through tone and comments about his partner's hookups, never explicitly vetoing but creating emotional tension. The advice suggests accepting that some discomfort may be inherent to the arrangement itself. Rather than expecting complete enthusiasm, the questioner should recognize his husband's capacity for empathy and acceptance while acknowledging human limitations. Direct conversation about the pattern is recommended, paired with realistic expectations about managing the emotional complexities of open relationships.

Read at Slate Magazine