How to Tell Your Children You Are Getting Divorced

"We are all programmed to nurture and protect our kids, so this step may feel like it goes against our parental instincts. And yet being a parent also means being honest and responsible. What's more, you are your children's most important role model. In sharing this news, you have an opportunity to demonstrate both vulnerability and resilience. It's important to communicate a balance of "this is a sad time" and "we are going to get through this.""

"Ideally, you'll tell all your children in person at once, but that may not be possible if one or more of them is at college, studying abroad, or away at camp, for example. Try to avoid asking your children to keep your news a secret, especially from their siblings. That puts too much pressure on them in an already stressful situation."

Parents must face one of the most difficult conversations when informing children about a divorce, balancing honesty with protection. Careful timing helps parents and children remain calmer and more grounded. Age shapes emotional needs: younger children require simpler explanations and reassurance, while older children often deserve earlier, more detailed information. Whenever possible, both parents should agree on concise, calm statements and tell all children together. Avoid asking children to keep the news secret, which adds pressure. If one parent cannot participate, a thoughtful, rational parent should still deliver the news. Keep the first conversation brief and leave ample room for children's feelings.

Read at Psychology Today