"Few concepts have caught fire in the pop psychology, relationship, and self-help worlds quite like boundaries have. The word has almost become a mantra in recent years: therapists, creators, and influencers alike are using it to advocate for healthier relationships. And rightly so. A boundary can help people reclaim their sense of self, reject outdated narratives about control, and insist on respect and autonomy within their partnerships."
"But as it is with most viral ideas, the message has become somewhat distorted. Somewhere along the way, many people began confusing boundaries with rules. Yet as similar as these two things might sound, they actually function very differently. As a result, the rush to rectify old power imbalances has led some individuals to inadvertently create new ones."
"At first glance, both the words "rule" and "boundary" seem to serve the same purpose: to protect one's emotional or relational safety. But in practice, they operate on almost totally opposing principles. Boundaries are about self-governance, whereas rules are about governing others. And when these two concepts are conflated, a relationship can be poisoned from the inside out. Here's why."
Boundaries have become widely popular in pop psychology, therapy, and self-help as tools for reclaiming autonomy, insisting on respect, and rejecting controlling narratives. The concept has been distorted as many people conflate boundaries with rules, which creates different dynamics. Boundaries function as personal limits and mechanisms of self-governance that manage emotional distance and connection. Rules are directives aimed at governing others. The conflation of boundaries and rules risks creating new power imbalances and poisoning relationships. Research on boundaries in relational contexts is limited, though a 2011 study defined boundaries as creating emotional distance or connection to manage evolving emotions.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]