Thanks for being so thoughtful about work crushes. They're so common but so complicated! In general, the most important consideration is whether there's a power imbalance. In your case, you describe the potential relationship as employee-employee, but from the university's perspective, your crush's status as a student is more important than his role as an employee. As a staffer with a potentially permanent position, you have more institutional power, and the student-employee has more institutional protection.
As a couples therapist, I often work with people who say things like, "My partner is so avoidant," or "I think she might be a narcissist," or whatever the latest psychological buzzword happens to be. These days, diagnostic language from psychology and social media has seeped into our everyday conversations. In earlier decades, people came into therapy saying, "He's selfish," or "She's too controlling." The words have changed, but the impulse is timeless: When someone hurts us, we want an explanation.
Neutrality in couples therapy means the therapist stays balanced and impartial toward both partners. It's about not taking sides, but instead validating each person's feelings and perspectives. Rather than focusing on blame, the goal is to improve the relationship dynamics so the couple can improve their skills and move forward together in a healthier way. Neutrality can sometimes cause more harm than good However, in some cases, neutrality in couples therapy can be damaging, especially when therapists work with clients who are experiencing high conflict, having trauma, or experiencing a power imbalance.
I'm aware of the recent posts this artist made about our relationship, and while I support her need to express herself publicly, the relationship was completely consensual, based on mutual feelings and attraction, Franti said in the post. I vehemently dispute any version of the story that says otherwise. He continues on to say he takes full accountability for not recognizing the power imbalance as she was younger than me, and I was the headliner on the tour.
Griffiths's inquiry sparked widespread responses from women reflecting on relationships with professors, exposing the often unacknowledged power dynamics in such interactions.