The article explores the complex emotional dynamics that can arise from acts of extreme generosity, centered around Jane’s experience with her doctor. After donating in gratitude for life-saving surgery, Jane felt snubbed when a new doctor replaced her beloved physician without explanation. This led to feelings of hurt and confusion. The psychologist emphasizes that such generosity may create an unintended burden or resentment, making the recipient uncomfortable and damaging what once was a relationship based on appreciation.
"You gave too much—it made them hate you," I've said to my patients so often that the line has become jarringly familiar.
Despite Jane's repeated attempts to reach her, she never heard from the doctor again.
Jane had figured the doctor would be pleased by the gift. But ever since, Jane had sensed a certain chilliness creep into their relationship.
As a psychologist fascinated by the paradoxes of the human psyche, I have for years struggled to understand why extreme acts of generosity may fail to inspire lasting appreciation.
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