Help! Our Grandmother Gave Us a Clear Rule for a Precious Family Heirloom. My Sister Violated It.

"When we were teenagers, my grandmother gave her wedding dress to my sister "Opal" and me, stipulating that she could wear it at her wedding or pass it on to me, the younger sister. I'm getting married next summer, and I decided I would wear my grandmother's dress. It was then that I discovered that my sister had sold the dress a long time ago. She didn't tell me anything about it."

"If you and Opal generally have a decent relationship, and she made her choice to sell the dress out of carelessness, confusion about the plan, or a dire financial situation, forgive her as much as possible and let her come to your wedding. A relationship with your sister is more important than a piece of clothing, and while it would be nice to have the connection to your grandmother that the dress represents, your connection with family members who are still living matters more."

A younger sister planned to wear their grandmother's wedding dress but discovered the older sister sold it without telling her, prompting a major fight. The younger sister decided to exclude the older sister from the wedding; parents urged forgiveness. The older sister offered to buy a vintage dress in the same style, but the younger sister remains distraught. If the sale resulted from carelessness, confusion, or financial need and the sisters generally have a decent relationship, forgiveness and including the sister at the wedding is advised. If the sale exemplifies a repeated pattern of selfish or cruel behavior, protecting oneself and limiting contact may be reasonable.

Read at Slate Magazine