A mother learns her son donated sperm to a lesbian couple, resulting in a granddaughter. She's excited about having a family connection but feels unsure about reaching out. Contacting the couple should go through her son to gauge their interest in having her as a bonus grandma. Clarifying roles with them is essential, as is being prepared for the possibility of rejection. Knowing she has a granddaughter is profound, but respecting the parents' wishes is crucial for any potential relationship.
You can reach out if, and only if, you ask your son to ask the moms if they're interested in connecting with you as a bonus grandma.
Almost all parents would benefit from having more loving adults in their lives who are willing to be there for their children.
You should work hard to clarify expectations about your role. You should be very careful not to suggest that you have some kind of authority over the child because of your biological connection.
Be prepared for the answer to be, 'No thanks.' Knowing that there is a child out there who is part of your bloodline is important.
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