"When I met my boyfriend, I was coming off the back of a horrible relationship, in a dead end at work, and feeling awful about myself. He's been amazing, nothing but supportive, and has encouraged me to try new things, including martial arts, rock climbing, and the gym. I've lost a little pudge, put on some muscle, and have never felt more beautiful or powerful."
"My brother and father seem put off by my confidence, my mother insisted that I must be being abused because I have new bruises from action sports, and at least two friends have suggested that my boyfriend is grooming me into some idealized Barbie figure. Nothing could be further from the truth; he's a complete pussycat, so I'm trying to get to grips with these reactions."
"I'm concerned that not one but two friends and your mother are worried that your boyfriend is abusive. Please take some time to really think about whether they are responding to something that you may not be seeing clearly. Maybe even ask another friend whose opinion you trust for their thoughts. If it really is true that this is a mini shared delusion among your loved ones, it might be the result of their having seen you in a bad relationship."
A woman left a horrible relationship, found a supportive partner, and rebuilt confidence through martial arts, rock climbing, and gym work, gaining strength and feeling beautiful. Several family members and friends reacted negatively to bruises and new confidence, suggesting abuse or grooming despite the boyfriend being gentle. Loved ones' reactions may stem from witnessing the previous bad relationship and heightened vigilance for mistreatment. The advice recommends taking time to consider whether any concerning signs are being missed and asking a trusted friend for input. Two response options include shutting down offensive comments with firm boundaries or guiding loved ones through understanding the changes.
Read at Slate Magazine
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