"You two agreed that consumerism is bad, but last year she somehow stumbled upon a nosehair trimmer without spending any money (Amazon shipped it by mistake and said not to worry about returning it, or she won it in a white elephant gift exchange, or her mom inexplicably gave it to her) and she thought, "Well, everyone has a nose. Let me give this to my boyfriend since [this is the key thing] neither of us really cares about gifts anyway.""
"I think she gave it to you because the baseline was no present at all, so a practical, impersonal present didn't seem like an insult. It's not as if you two typically make each other beautiful handmade gifts, and she gave you something thoughtless instead. This isn't a huge problem. Unless! Unless you know something I don't about your relationship-like, for example, she is always nitpicking your appearance and hygiene-that makes you think there was a non-festive, negative message behind the nose hair trimmer."
A long-term couple avoids buying gifts because they oppose needless consumerism. One partner gave a nose hair trimmer as a birthday present, which felt pointed and hurtful to the recipient. Possible explanations include accidentally acquired or free items, or a low-effort choice within a baseline of no presents. A pragmatic, impersonal gift in that context often lacks malicious intent. The gift may feel insulting only if it fits a pattern of frequent comments about appearance or hygiene. If a pattern exists, the partners should discuss that behavior rather than retaliate with a similarly pointed present.
Read at Slate Magazine
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