An adoptee describes being raised by a nonblood guardian, Jane, who is angry, physically abusive, and has untreated anxiety and anger stemming from a troubled childhood. The adoptee's biological family reentered and resents Jane after losing a custody battle due to drug problems, and most relatives have cut Jane out. The adoptee remains in limited contact with Jane but faces pressure from the biological mother, sister Stacey, and a therapist to sever ties. The adoptee feels conflicted because Jane raised them, worries about abandoning an aging woman, and fears losing a close relationship with Stacey.
I was adopted by a nonblood relation, "Jane," and her husband, "Rick," who raised me alongside their daughter, "Stacey." Jane has always been an angry woman-quick to yell, demean, throw things, and strike out at me and Stacey physically. Jane had a very troubled childhood, and she has a lot of untreated anxiety and anger issues that stem from this. My biological family is back in my life, and they all hate Jane and say she stole me from them.
My father, Rick, has divorced Jane and will not speak with her, nor will my sister, Stacey, or any other relatives. Jane's violent, angry, and manipulative transgressions over the years have made her a pariah. I am still on speaking terms with Jane, but recently my biological mother and Stacey have both asked me to cut her out. My own therapist seems to think it would be a good idea as well.
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