"She blamed my partner for not communicating clearly enough (I saw the messages, and I'm still confused as to how "I bought the hockey tickets; let me know transportation and hotels and book them and I'll pay" is unclear), and blamed me for not understanding because her cat has diabetes. There were multiple offers to help out, and the cancellation was very last minute (I was under the impression everything was good to go)."
"Or is the band Oasis? My Instagram is full of 40 somethings wearing Oasis bucket hats. Okay, let's unpack this situation a little bit. The friend has bailed on this trip last minute, and sounds a bit chaotic and disorganized, no? Letter Writer, do you want to try again and invite her to this show? You could do it in a very relaxed "Hey I'm going and would love to see you if you're free," and let her pick up (or not) from there."
A person with a 20-year friendship had a friend plan a 36th-birthday trip and then cancel at the last minute. The friend blamed the person's partner for unclear communication and cited her cat's diabetes as another reason. Multiple offers to help preceded a sudden cancellation that surprised the birthday person. A local band that bonded them is playing, and the birthday person wants to attend but worries about damaging the friendship. The friend has kept messaging. Colleagues suggest a low-pressure option: attend and casually invite the friend with 'Hey I'm going and would love to see you if you're free,' then observe the friend's response.
Read at Slate Magazine
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