"For the past few years there has been a TON of parentification going on where I felt like her therapist. Family issues, marital issues (with my father) all were discussed at length no matter how hard I tried to disengage or change the subject. I said nothing, knowing my parents' proclivity for losing it on their children over minor perceived missteps."
"Well, last year I cracked. They did something I considered cruel, and I called them out on it. While my text was harsh, it was fair, on point, and simple: I don't like this behavior, don't include me in it again. To say I started World War III is an understatement. The response I received back was pages and pages of accusations, self-pity, and unhinged anger."
"While the anger has subsided, I cannot in good conscience allow someone with such malice back in my or my children's lives. However, both my father and husband think this is going too far, and I should simply be "respectful" and have family gatherings like nothing has happened. I don't know how to face this person anymore, and I need reassurance that not owning up to her cruel words is worth ending this relationship."
A person reports decades of parentification, feeling compelled to act as a stepmother's unpaid therapist and absorb family and marital issues. After a recent cruelty, the person sent a blunt boundary text asking not to be included in that behavior. The stepmother responded with lengthy accusations, self-pity, and unhinged anger, including publicly revealing that the stepmother's pregnancy resulted from the father's infidelity. No apology was offered to the person; only a partial apology to the father. The person refuses to allow the stepmother near their children and seeks reassurance about ending the relationship despite pressure from the father and husband.
Read at Slate Magazine
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