"I have been mostly happily married for 13 years. My husband and I get along really well, and I love him very much. That being said, he is not the most affectionate person anymore. We used to cuddle a lot when we were first married and I have told him how much I miss it. He says he doesn't enjoy it because it's too hot. He'll make an effort to snuggle while watching TV sometimes if I ask,"
"Prudie, I did need a hug and he gave me one and I started crying because I couldn't remember the last time I had received nonsexual affection from someone without begging. My co-worker asked why I was crying and when I told him he said he loved his wife very much, but she wasn't affectionate either and he knew exactly how I was feeling. Since that day we've been meeting in his or my office after work a couple of times a week."
A married partner misses the physical affection that used to be routine with their spouse. A co-worker offered a consoling hug that triggered strong emotional relief and led to regular, brief hugging sessions between the two adults. The hugging is described as nonsexual and has reduced the partner's neediness toward the spouse, but the activity is secret and the spouse has not been informed. The situation raises questions about boundaries, emotional fidelity, and the impact of secrecy on trust. Open communication about unmet affectionate needs and clear agreements about acceptable outside contact are necessary to prevent relationship harm.
Read at Slate Magazine
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