"When she asked me, I started off by explaining that I've never told her about my past because I didn't have a happy childhood. The words were barely out of my mouth when my husband interrupted, insisting that happiness is subjective and that I should focus on the good life I have now. I hear what he's saying, but he does this all the time. He accuses me of complaining or being ungrateful when I'm just sharing my truth. It's instances like these that keep me from sharing about my childhood in the first place. I love my husband. I just wish he'd give me the space to vent or mourn or cry if I need to without his voice telling me to be strong."
"With your daughter, take her out for a parent-daughter date and share whatever you want to tell her about your past. It's OK to reveal hard truths about what you've gone through in your life. If possible, give context so you show her how your life has evolved from whatever happened, but don't sugarcoat the truth. With your husband, have a separate conversation and stand up for yourself. Let him know it bothers you when he interrupts you when you are sharing your truth. Make it clear that you believe your life experience is valid, and you do not appreciate him shutting you down."
A woman avoided discussing an unhappy childhood but now wants to share her early life with her daughter. Her husband interrupts and reframes her feelings as ungrateful or complaining, discouraging her from revealing painful memories. Advice urges separate handling: take a parent-daughter outing and share hard truths with context without sugarcoating. A separate conversation with the husband should assert that interruptions are hurtful, demand the space to express emotions, and affirm that her life experience is valid. Another correspondent faces a long-distance relationship dilemma about moving to build a future together while preferring current home and job.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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