"They asked what I would want, and all I asked was that it be low-budget and that my parents be present. It turnes out that everyone who attended had to pay, despite it being in my friend's home; my parents were not invited; and the host had a program full of her favorite activities for the gathering. It didn't feel like this party was for me at all."
"Tread carefully. While everyone had to pay something, do you know how much? She may have needed some cash to defray costs. The party may have had a low budget, even if it wasn't free. Not inviting your parents when you made that request was not cool. You can ask how she pulled the party together and express disappointment that she didn't keep your key thoughts in mind."
A 30th birthday surprise failed to honor the celebrant's requests for a low-budget event and parental presence. Guests were asked to pay even though the gathering took place in a friend's home, and the host organized activities centered on her preferences. The celebrant felt overlooked and wondered whether to confront the friend. The recommended approach is to request a careful debrief, ask about any costs, and express sadness that key wishes were ignored. The advice also recommends declining surprise parties in the future and planning personal events to retain control. A separate note mentions a recent breakup and a decision to move out.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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