"My boyfriend just lost his mom suddenly and tragically. He has barely been able to function during this time, so I took on the responsibility of making the arrangements to honor her life. I knew his mom, too, so it was hard having to stow away my grief, but I know he was grateful. My boyfriend's ex showed up to the funeral."
"His entire family is familiar with her, so at the repast, she was greeting everyone, fixing plates for aunts and uncles, thanking people on the mic and checking on my boyfriend all too often. I was occupied with making sure all things were going as they were supposed to. I hate to be so jealous and self-centered during a time like this, but her behavior felt inappropriate."
"Without belaboring it, you can admit that you felt uncomfortable when his ex took on such a big role during the funeral. Tell him the truth: You were feeling jealous. You don't like that this happened, but you wanted to share it with him. You are allowed to have feelings at this moment. He should be aware of how you were impacted by his ex's display."
The boyfriend's mother died suddenly and tragically, leaving him barely able to function. The narrator arranged the funeral and suppressed personal grief while assisting him. The boyfriend's ex attended and assumed visible roles at the repast—greeting relatives, serving plates, speaking on the mic, and frequently checking on the boyfriend—prompting feelings of discomfort and jealousy. Counsel advises expressing those feelings briefly and honestly to the boyfriend, admitting uncomfortable jealousy while clarifying no request for action beyond acknowledgment. The guidance recommends leaning on each other during this tender period, sharing memories of the mother, being a good listener, and inviting the boyfriend to talk.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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