"We all have a friend in our circle who, more often than not, turns down an invitation to hang out. They're busy; they're exhausted; they're out of town. Maybe they tell you they need more of a head's up, and then next time they tell you the need a more spontaneous invitation so they don't forget. They're the friend in your group that everyone shouts, "Omg you came!" when they show up at a party"
"As common as this friend is in every group, so is the debate on how many chances to give them. "Should we invite them?" becomes a frequent question before every party, every night out at the bar, every girls' dinner. You know they probably won't come - you most likely say that out loud every time you send them an invite - and you debate with your partner, your other friends, yourself about whether or not to send that text."
Some friends repeatedly decline invitations, citing busy schedules, exhaustion, or travel, and give inconsistent cues about timing. This pattern provokes repeated debates about whether to continue inviting them to parties, dinners, or nights out. Some people establish explicit limits, such as inviting someone three consecutive times before giving up, treating repeated declines as a sign of disinterest. Others reject rigid rules and prioritize inclusion, preferring to invite regardless of expected attendance and reserving judgment for cases where someone accepts and then cancels. The underlying tension balances respect for constraints and desire for connection, with reliability and communication shaping decisions.
Read at Scary Mommy
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