"I resented the hell out of their low sex drive, emotional manipulation, and inability to function like an adult. Instead of dealing with that (honestly, I didn't see it), I projected my resentment onto them, and we fought about things that weren't actually the issue. Of course, that means it never got better. Every month during my period, I considered disappearing and starting a new life. I thought that was what everyone did, 'hormones' and all."
"Once I got to a place in therapy where I realized I had been over-functioning for 15+ years and resented the hell out of them... It was over. I was so relieved when I realized I wanted a divorce. We were good at being friends. We were AWFUL as a couple. We were both the problem. Two years later, I barely recognize the miserable shell of a human I was."
A partner resented another's low sex drive, emotional manipulation, and inability to act like an adult, and projected that resentment onto them, causing fights about surface issues. The resenting partner considered disappearing monthly during menstruation and attributed urges to hormones. Therapy revealed 15+ years of over-functioning and built-up resentment, prompting relief and a decision to divorce. The couple functioned well as friends but poorly as romantic partners, with both contributing to problems. Two years after separation, the resenter recovered, and the other partner demonstrated capability to handle bills, chores, cooking, and pet care when responsible for them.
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