#resentment

#resentment

To start, resentment is a complex emotion rooted in anger and typically involves feeling slighted in some way. In my clinical experience, because of a sense of being slighted, mistreated, or wronged, many people direct their resentment toward someone else and focus on that person and the mistreatment. And since I am a sex and couples therapist, in my office, someone else is typically their partner.

Or maybe you've found yourself picking apart why someone's success "isn't that impressive" when deep down, you know you're just feeling bitter about it? I've been there. More times than I'd like to admit. And after years of digging into the psychology behind human behavior and interviewing over 200 people about their professional journeys, I've discovered something fascinating: that resentment we feel toward others' success? It's rarely about them. It's almost always about the uncomfortable truths we're avoiding about ourselves.

My boyfriend and I (we're both men) are both in our late 20s. We started dating in our last year of university and moved in together about a year after. He's very good at those in-demand tech and number-focused computer skills, so he already had good employment lined up before graduation. I struggled to find full-time work in my field, and worked part-time while doing the household cleaning, cooking, shopping, etc.

I am struggling with the different way my parents have treated me and my brother. My dad started a business when I was five. Now it's worth several million. My brother was invited by my dad to go into the business when he left university. I was not. By then, the business was well established and my dad stayed on as CEO. My dad gave my brother 80% of it. He will now sell the business and realise millions, meaning he can retire early.

I'm not just saying that he's lazy, unmotivated, and never takes her out or wants to travel with her, but yes to all of that. I hate how he makes her feel like she's asking for too much out of a partner. I hate how he tells her that he'll do something with her or for her then he doesn't.

My wife works two days a week, one weekend day and one weekday, while I work full time making the large majority of our income. Her job is very important (medical field), and she is a great mom, does a ton of housework, and is all around a wonderful person. I'm fully taking all of that into account when I vent here,

When you bite your tongue repeatedly, underneath it may feel like you are avoiding conflict, but often you're actually building up resentment. We all know that the 'bottle it up and implode or explode later' plan does not work well for any of us. Every unspoken thought becomes a brick in the wall that grows between you and the other person.