Did I say too much? - Harvard Gazette

"What is "revealing" and how does it help us make and keep friends, romantic partners, and colleagues at work? The key active ingredient is trust. When you reveal something sensitive to someone, that's a kind of social risk. I'm relinquishing control to the universe, and I'm showing you that I trust you to not make a fool out of me. That is contagious. Because when you show that you trust someone, it causes them to trust you. Tons of studies have shown this."

"Opening up to others and disclosing something personal is a powerful tool that can build rapport, enhance likeability, and bring people closer together, says Leslie John, a behavioral scientist at Harvard Business School. But too often, people avoid sharing more of themselves out of fear they may say the wrong thing and look foolish, or worse, say too much and make everyone uncomfortable. It's a caution that carries more risks than we realize, she writes in a new book, "Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing.""

Opening up and disclosing personal information can build rapport, enhance likeability, and bring people closer. Purposeful revealing involves taking a social risk to show trust, which often prompts reciprocal trust and strengthens relationships. Simply saying "you can trust me" is ineffective; demonstrating trust through disclosure is the mechanism that creates social currency. Many people under-share out of fear of embarrassment or making others uncomfortable, but avoiding disclosure limits connection and credibility. Learning when and how to expose vulnerability—often described as "exposing your belly"—can deepen friendships, romantic relationships, and workplace bonds and is a skill that can be practiced.

Read at Harvard Gazette