"Do not suddenly announce to your mother that this boy is your boyfriend. Start by casually mentioning the difference you and your friends have noticed in him, that he seems to be trying to be a better person and how much he has changed for the better. Because people usually socialize in groups, it shouldn't surprise her that he has become part of the group."
"It might help if you try to zero in on the underlying conditions that have made your old habit return. Could the move to the new community with all the adjustments involved be the cause? People sometimes swear when they are upset or in a situation that makes them nervous. If that's true in your case, learning to lower your stress level could help you manage your problem."
A woman in a four-month relationship faces maternal hostility because the boyfriend once said something hurtful in grade school. The advice is to proceed slowly: casually mention observed improvements in him and his inclusion in her social group, and delay revealing a formal relationship for a month or two to reduce shock. Another person struggles with lifelong swearing that resurfaced after moving to a new community and asks about hypnosis; identifying underlying triggers such as stress or nervousness is advised, and learning stress-reduction techniques is recommended to manage the habit. A third letter about a long marriage is incomplete.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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