Dear Abby: I told my husband not to share a bed with his young friend, but he did anyway

"My 58-year-old husband recently shared a bed in our camper with a 21-year-old family friend. The friend is female. This happened in my absence. He thinks of her as a daughter, and although I'm not concerned about anything inappropriate happening between them, I still feel it was inappropriate. I expressed my feelings to him and said I didn't want it to happen again, but it did. He still thinks it's perfectly fine, but I do not. What are your thoughts?"

"My thought is that it's unusual and inappropriate for a 21-year-old woman to share a bed with your husband (more than once!) in light of the fact that you objected. I can't help but wonder why no other sleeping arrangement was possible, and what her parents (who, I assume, are friends of yours) think about the arrangement. Perhaps it's time you had a chat with the young woman about this. You may find it enlightening."

"A family member a woman in her 60s almost certainly has narcissistic personality disorder. She has caused problems in the family, so much so that some have quit their jobs, sold their homes and moved out of town to get away from her dysfunction. This woman blames others, never apologizes for anything and doesn't seem to think she has a problem. Having burned all her bridges, she is now moving"

A 58-year-old husband shared a bed in a camper with a 21-year-old female family friend during his wife's absence; the wife objected and the behavior repeated. Such an arrangement is described as unusual and inappropriate given the age difference and the wife's prior objection. Inquiry into why no alternative sleeping arrangements were made and discussion with the young woman and her parents are recommended. A separate family reports a woman in her 60s exhibiting narcissistic traits who disrupted relatives' lives; families often cannot change such behavior and may seek family therapy to manage contact and restore order.

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