"Online platforms had become an extension of the romance plot, a public stage where intimacy was proof of worth, and coupledom was still the ultimate status symbol. Back then, my research showed that many people felt their lives had not truly begun until they'd met someone. Being single wasn't just a relationship status; it was an existential pause. To get a life, as the old saying went, meant to find a partner. Romance was the scaffolding of selfhood."
"that across social media, the term boyfriend was taking on a strangely dated, even cringe, tone, not unlike the way Facebook official now sounds quaint. The idea of centring your identity around a relationship feels, to many, passe. Platforms like TikTok are teeming with young women publicly declaring themselves #boysober a rapidly growing movement rejecting dating, hookup culture, exes, and even the idea of emotional dependence on men. What began as a meme has become a global conversation about boundaries, burnout, and bodily autonomy."
Social media once framed relationships as status markers, with soft and hard launches signalling new partnerships and coupledom functioning as the scaffolding of selfhood. By 2025, the cultural romance plot has weakened and the label 'boyfriend' increasingly feels dated or cringe. TikTok hosts a growing #boysober movement of young women rejecting dating, hookups, exes, and emotional dependence on men. The movement reframes abstention as self-preservation rather than moral purity, responding to dating-app fatigue, relentless emotional labour managing male fragility, and technologically enabled abuse and surveillance. #boysober represents a collective feminist renegotiation of boundaries, autonomy, and participation in the dating economy.
Read at www.theguardian.com
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