"Avoidant attachment is a relational pattern in which closeness, dependency, or emotional intensity and deeper connection begin to feel threatening rather than soothing, especially as intimacy deepens. People with avoidant attachment often value autonomy highly and regulate stress by pulling back. They may feel most comfortable when connection is present, but not requiring sustained emotional engagement, accountability, reliable planning, or repair."
"For the partner who wants more-more continuity, more presence, more emotional contact-being in a relationship with an avoidant can be uniquely painful. The longing isn't met with cruelty, but with absence. You may find yourself negotiating for basics: responsiveness, follow-through, emotional availability, empathy, a sense of commitment. You may start to doubt your needs, lower your expectations, or over-function to preserve connection."
Avoidant attachment produces discomfort with closeness, making dependency, emotional intensity, and deeper connection feel threatening rather than soothing. Individuals with avoidant patterns prioritize autonomy and manage stress by distancing themselves, tolerating connection only when it does not demand sustained emotional engagement or reliable accountability. Avoidance appears in different forms, from cool withdrawal to cycles of pursuit and retreat, but a common feature is that intimacy activates the nervous system instead of calming it. Partners seeking greater continuity often experience pain as needs for responsiveness, follow-through, empathy, and repair go unmet, leading to doubt, lowered expectations, and over-functioning to maintain contact.
Read at Psychology Today
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]