The article details the harrowing experience of a woman forced into a marriage in the Orthodox Jewish community of New York City. With no say in her marriage, she describes the lack of consent and the traumatic preparations leading up to her wedding, including a virginity examination. The description of her engagement reveals how her upbringing groomed her for a life devoid of autonomy and was steeped in traditional customs that stripped her of agency. Her narrative sheds light on the systemic issues and emotional abuse faced in such oppressive environments.
They sent me off to be raped, with a party and a tube of K-Y Jelly. The lubricant was to reduce the intense physical pain they explained I would endure while being penetrated by a stranger-turned-husband, without foreplay, without consent. Every month. Until death do us part.
In the reclusive Orthodox Jewish community in New York City where I grew up, choices about whether, when and whom I would marry did not belong to me.
I was a clueless 19-year-old who had never been allowed to 'talk to a boy,' and suddenly I was given a matter of hours to answer my family... 'No' was never really an option.
First, a virginity exam. The groom's rabbi sent me to an Orthodox Jewish gynecologist, where I was instructed to disrobe, get on the examination table and put my feet in the stirrups.
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