Asking for a friend: My boyfriend dumped me and I didn't see it coming. I can't get out of bed or stop crying. How can I face Christmas parties now?

"I can't believe I'm writing this, but I've found myself unexpectedly single. My ex dumped me recently and I didn't see it coming. He said it was him and not me and that he just didn't want to be in a serious relationship with anyone right now."

"He asked me to stay friends with him but made it clear that's all it will be, and said he still loved me, but not in that way and it was the wrong thing for him right now. I am in shock. I've met his family and I thought we might have moved in together next year. My friends want me to come out for all the Christmas parties we had planned, but I just can't get out of bed or stop crying."

"In one sense, it's natural to grieve for the future of the relationship that's not now going to happen. It's a sudden adjustment on an emotional level, and sometimes financial level. The silver lining, if it could be seen as that, is that you weren't living together, and so can avoid the emotionally draining process of finding a new place to live while having to live with the person who broke your heart."

An unexpected breakup occurred when the partner ended the relationship, saying the issue was his desire not to be in a serious relationship and that it was not the other person's fault. He asked to remain friends while clarifying romantic love had ended. The person felt shocked after meeting the partner's family and contemplating future cohabitation. Friends encouraged socializing during the holidays, but the person experienced intense grief, inability to get out of bed, and continued crying. Emotional adjustment includes grieving the lost future and potential financial shifts. Not having been cohabiting can spare the immediate burden of moving out and living with the ex, and positives may emerge over time.

Read at Independent