"It sounds like they've got to learn how to clean up their own mess, literally and proverbially. Your offer of assistance was really kind and, from your telling, did more than just point out the problem. But if something like that is going to raise their hackles to the point of cutting off communication, I fear there's nothing you can say that won't prompt a similar conflict."
"First, if you believe the mess is harmful to their children, you can reach out to 311 to get them help for their hoarding tendencies. Many fire departments have members trained at intervention. They can pay the apartment a visit. You could also reach out to a social worker, but it doesn't seem from your letter that you think the children are in danger and so this option might be too extreme."
A 40-year-old daughter and her spouse maintain a heavily cluttered patio and likely a similarly messy interior, making their unit stand out in a large complex. The patio contains trash, unused plant pots, a vacuum cleaner, furniture and toys. The landlord repeatedly refuses to renew their lease annually, causing disruptive moves and school changes for the children. A prior offer to help cleaning provoked offense, month-long noncommunication and withheld visitation. If the mess endangers the children, contacting 311 or fire-department hoarding intervention teams is a viable step; a social worker is another option but may be excessive. Alternatively, avoiding confrontation preserves relationships but leaves the situation unchanged.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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