"Daughter #1 made an ultimatum that wasn't hers to make, and is now punishing your second daughter and, by extension, the rest of the family because of it. Surely there's more to it (there always is) but I can't really blame Daughter #2 for saying enough is enough. I'm tempted to say ignore it, but judging by the amount of information you know about the situation, it seems that you're hearing updates anyway."
"You may need to tell one or both of them that you're stepping back from hearing about it and, by extension, worrying about it, to preserve your own peace. Alternatively, if their refusal to see each other is keeping you from something you want or need, you can tell them that, too. You likely can't bridge the gap between them, but you can keep your relationship with each of them healthier by knowing when to say, I love you both but you're adults"
One daughter issued an ultimatum over the other's marriage and now refuses contact, even with the new baby, while the husband supports her stance. The estrangement appears largely one-sided and punitive toward Daughter #2 and the wider family. Inserting oneself into the conflict will likely increase stress. A parent can instead evaluate how the rift affects personal relationships, set boundaries on hearing updates, and prioritize emotional preservation. If the estrangement prevents the parent from important needs or events, communicate those limits and consequences. Bridging the gap may be unlikely, but maintaining healthier relationships requires clear boundaries and self-protective choices.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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