"His two daughters have never been warm to me and tend to ignore me when we're together. His three stepkids from his previous relationship, on the other hand, are accepting of me and happy to be around me. All his kids are very close. This past Mother's Day I mentioned to my partner that I wished I could crack the code with his daughters."
"I can see why you wouldn't want to spend the holidays with people who ignore you (bah humbug to that), but I don't think it's a fair compromise to ask him to skip holidays altogether. Might it be in everyone's best interest for him to have a talk with his daughters about being more hospitable to you? And maybe the two of you stay at a hotel instead of their home?"
A couple has been together four years with a large blended family of middle-age adult children. Two daughters are cold and tend to ignore the partner while three stepkids are welcoming. The partner visits his daughters out of state multiple times yearly, including Christmas, and does not provide space for the partner to stay. The partner finances the partner's trips to her children, creating resentment and a desire to spend holidays together. Recommended actions include asking him to address his daughters' hospitality, considering staying at a hotel, and asserting needs and boundaries with adult children.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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