"I have been in recovery for alcohol addiction for almost 31 years. Needless to say, my life is wonderful and so good compared with those years when I was active in my addiction. Recently I was with someone who knew me before recovery. In a room with people who really didn't know me very well, she told the story about how I was drunk, in a blackout and stole something from someone."
"But, if those feelings exist, they're on her side of the street. Before you sever the friendship, have a conversation in which you explain what you felt hurt by and ask if she sees it the same way. She may not realize what she's doing. If that's the case, she should quickly apologize, acknowledge what she did that was hurtful and seek to make it right going forward."
A person with 31 years of sobriety reports that a long-term friend repeatedly recounts an alleged past episode of drunkenness and theft in mixed company, causing deep embarrassment and hurt. The friend is a dear companion of more than fifty years, and the behavior appears to occur when others do not know the sober person well. Suggested steps include recognizing possible resentment, initiating a calm conversation to explain the hurt, requesting acknowledgment and apology, and allowing the friend to make amends. If the friend minimizes the harm, ending the relationship is presented as a valid choice. A subsequent letter about sibling rivalry begins but is incomplete.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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