"It can be so frustrating, and hurtful, to get responses like the ones you're anticipating from your sister. Sometimes, closure doesn't mean everyone agrees about every detail of the past. Indeed, that rarely happens. But closure can mean an acknowledgment of feelings, an awareness that there is something broken in a relationship, and a shared desire to build a healthier relationship moving forward."
"So, it'll be helpful to first work on closure internally. Talk to a therapist about the relationship and the hurt you've experienced. It will be helpful to have someone listen to you without judgment. A therapist can help guide you to healing, which is, itself, a form of closure. A therapist can also help you practice for and plan for a conversation with your sister."
"From what you've written, I'm not certain that the latter version of closure is likely either. It's not impossible, but your sister needs to be in a different place than she is currently for a conversation to be fruitful. So, it'll be helpful to first work on closure internally. Talk to a therapist about the relationship and the hurt you've experienced. It will be helpful to have someone listen to you without judgment."
Longstanding emotional abuse from an older sister has caused persistent hurt through repeated criticism of appearance, behavior, and choices. Confrontation may provoke denial or minimization, which can block mutual acknowledgement. Closure can mean acknowledging feelings, recognizing a broken relationship, and a shared commitment to healthier interactions. A healthier relationship requires the sister to be willing to change; without that, direct confrontation may not be fruitful. Internal closure through therapy can provide listening without judgment, healing practice, and preparation for any conversation. Personal peace does not depend solely on the sister accepting responsibility.
Read at www.mercurynews.com
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