"Should I try to seek closure with a person I used to love but drifted apart from, or is it best to leave them be? There's a person I used to be really close to who doesn't talk to me any more. We didn't have a fight. We just drifted, but I still think about them all the time. We were really close from year 7 to year 12. The truth is I had a devastating crush on her. I told her about it one day; she let me down very sweetly and our friendship continued. She was the first (and so far only) person I've ever felt I loved. She's the reason I identify as bi. And I believed for a few years she loved me too, if in a different way to how I hoped."
"After high school we drifted apart. It's been four years now. I still send her birthday messages which she replies to, but that's about it. One time I tried to build a conversation but after a couple messages back and forth I was left on read. I moved on from the crush years ago, but the loss of the friendship still bothers me. At one time she was one of the most important people in the world to me. I'm desperate to know why we lost touch and if the memory of our friendship still has any importance to her. I think about texting her how I feel but I always stop myself."
"Eleanor says: I think a lot of people's first experience with love, real love whether romantic or platonic is with a high school friend. Those relationships are so formative, so close. You talk constantly, you know everything about each other, you build a whole world of jokes for just you two. Then come so many life changes, so quickly, and the world those relationships were tied to can disappear. A lot of people find themselves as adults not really speaking to someone they once shared a whole secret language with. Of course, not knowing why that closeness went away, or where it went, gnaws horribly. But I think it's important that How do I get closure? and Should I reach out? are not actually"
A person describes losing contact with a close high-school friend who was also a romantic crush and the ongoing pain from that loss. Occasional birthday messages get brief replies, but deeper attempts at conversation go unanswered, leaving questions about why the friendship faded and whether it still matters to the other person. Romantic feelings faded years ago, yet the loss of intimacy and shared history remains vivid. The response notes that first experiences of love and close school friendships are intensely formative, built from constant communication and private jokes that can disappear after life changes, causing gnawing uncertainty.
Read at www.theguardian.com
Unable to calculate read time
Collection
[
|
...
]