"Ed and Sheena were about to have sex for the first time after their third miscarriage six weeks before. Sheena had recently felt Ed being distant towards her. This made her wonder if Ed's disappointment about their most recent loss was turning into anger. Did Ed silently blame her for their losses? After all, her body had failed to carry through the pregnancies. She hoped that the two of them getting intimate with one another that night would bring them closer together."
"Sex happened that night, but it was brief and mechanical. After it was over, Sheena asked Ed if everything was ok. Ed did not answer at first. A whispered "no," with Ed's voice barely coming out, set off Sheena's alarm bells. After a fair bit of prompting, Ed finally admitted that the sex had felt "transactional". He thought Sheena had only initiated it because she was desperate for a baby."
"Hearing Ed's words and resentful tone felt like a slap in Sheena's face. She felt rejected and misunderstood. Of course, she was desperate for a child. Wasn't Ed? However, Sheena was more desperate to have Ed's affection at that exact moment. What a shame that he was so emotionally cut off from her. Ed thought of running behind Sheena as she rushed out of the room crying, but did not. The heaviness of his thoughts was paralysing. Ed could not shake the feeling of being"
Miscarriage can create emotional disconnect between partners and intensify blame, leaving both people feeling misunderstood, rejected, or emotionally cut off. Sexual intimacy after loss may feel brief, mechanical, or transactional when partners face differing needs and fears about future pregnancy. Silent distance and unspoken resentment can deepen wounds and prevent mutual support. Couples therapy can benefit couples in multiple ways by helping partners accept each other's grief, grieve together, name and share emotions, and make joint decisions about intimacy and future family planning. Therapy can restore empathy, clarify intentions, and rebuild emotional connection.
Read at Psychology Today
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