I stopped offering my opinion in family group chats six months ago, no commentary, no reactions, no jumping in to smooth things over, just to see who would notice my absence, and the silence taught me something I had been working hard not to know for about twenty years - Silicon Canals

"The peacekeeper isn't a person to most family systems. The peacekeeper is a function. And functions don't get missed in the way people do; they get missed in the way a dishwasher gets missed when it breaks."

"There is a particular kind of attention that gets paid to the person who keeps the temperature regulated, and it is not the same as being known."

"For the first three weeks, I noticed myself drafting messages and deleting them. The reflex was almost physical."

Choosing silence in family interactions can expose the overlooked role of the peacekeeper. While families typically notice absence, the peacekeeper's function is often taken for granted. The peacekeeper's absence may not elicit concern, as their role is more functional than personal. The experience of withdrawal can lead to a struggle between the instinct to respond and the decision to remain silent, revealing deeper dynamics within family relationships and the nature of attention given to individuals based on their roles.

Read at Silicon Canals