"Obsessiveness is a veil for inconvenient and difficult truths, both personal and existential. Those who struggle with obsessiveness often can't articulate why they love what they obsess over or how having it and holding onto it would make them happy. Obsessiveness as a distraction manifests in the pursuit of fame, romance, and financial success. It isn't that these goals are inherently bad (they aren't inherently good either); it's that those who identify as perfectionists pursue them to add belt notches."
"It's true that perfectionists struggle with black and white thinking and, thus, devalue anything they possess after idealizing it. But, there's something deeper here. Perfectionists have a tendency to treat most things as means to ends. For example, engaging with a stranger at a party implies the possibility of approval, which, in turn, may increase one's self-esteem. Whether or not the stranger is compatible is of little concern. Since many obsessive-compulsive types are preoccupied with their image, rejection generally feels devastating."
Obsessiveness masks uncomfortable personal and existential truths by converting desires into distractions rather than genuine sources of happiness. Perfectionists often cannot explain why they value their obsessions or how possession would yield contentment. Pursuits of fame, romance, and wealth frequently serve as symbolic measures of worth rather than authentic goals. Perfectionists tend to view people and activities instrumentally, seeking approval to bolster fragile self-esteem and treating others as defenses against shame and feelings of being unloved. The tendency to idealize, then devalue, coupled with means-to-ends thinking, undermines meaningful engagement with what actually brings pleasure and meaning.
Read at Psychology Today
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