"When we minimize our suffering with statements like "I shouldn't complain-others have it much harder than me," it can seem evolved, empathetic, even wise. In professional culture, this phrase often earns admiration. It signals gratitude, resilience, and perspective. However, beneath that polished humility lies a psychological defense mechanism that can quietly block emotional growth. That mindset reflects a subtle form of emotional bypassing, which is the tendency to sidestep uncomfortable emotions by rationalizing them away."
"Bypassing certainly played a part in my journey toward a catastrophic burnout as a corporate finance lawyer. When colleagues around me experienced layoffs, I buried my misery. Complaining about my situation as a high-flying young solicitor at a Magic Circle firm felt indulgent, and potentially dangerous to my career. This kind of thinking might seem admirable, but research shows that emotional suppression increases stress responses rather than soothing them."
Minimizing personal suffering with phrases like 'I shouldn't complain — others have it much harder' functions as emotional bypassing that rationalizes away uncomfortable feelings. Emotional bypassing replaces acknowledgment and processing with gratitude or perspective, muting rather than healing emotions. It commonly appears in professional cultures where vulnerability feels risky and can be reinforced as admirable composure. Suppressing emotions elevates stress responses and can amplify pressure and fatigue over time. The term originates with John Welwood's concept of spiritual bypassing and manifests in workplaces as rationalization rather than spirituality. Personal accounts link bypassing to burnout when individuals bury distress to protect careers.
Read at Fast Company
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