When Your Co-Worker Is a Backstabber

"Backstabbing colleagues are nice to your face but very critical behind your back. These co-workers tell lies or talk badly about you when you are not there. When you are with them, they act like they are your friends. But out of sight, the phonies betray your trust, revealing some disclosure you confided about your personal life or opposing some action you have taken."

"Confront the backstabber. Simply report what you heard. Ask them to spell out specifically whatever accusations they allegedly made. Speak up firmly without showing anger or voicing any blame. If the mistake was yours, apologize immediately."

"Your goal is to stop the backstabbing. If criticism made about your work is legitimate, that must be aired and resolved. If not, state what you expect-direct feedback to you."

Backstabbing colleagues appear friendly in person but criticize you behind your back, sometimes sharing confidential information or opposing your actions. They may seek control or misinterpret your behavior. When confronted with backstabbing, remain calm and report specifically what you heard without anger or blame. Ask the colleague to detail their accusations. If the criticism about your work is legitimate, address it directly. If not, establish expectations for direct feedback to you. Apologize immediately if you were at fault or insensitive, as backstabbers sometimes act from perceived slights. The goal is stopping the backstabbing while resolving any legitimate workplace concerns through honest communication.

Read at Psychology Today