When Estrangement Masks Abuse

"Some name this "alienation"; however, as an attachment-focused therapist, I prefer to use the term "fractured attachment" to define how and why estrangement occurs. As therapists, we are trained to validate our clients' perspectives, and estrangement is a legitimate response to past abuse. However, what if the estrangement is the result of manipulation? What if a client has been coerced into believing false narratives about a family member-or the entire family?"

"As therapists, we must assess for coercive control if we are to guide our clients toward gaining their own agency and ensure that clients can retain relationships with loving, supportive family members and disengage from abusive relationships. Coercive control is a pattern of behavior in which one individual exerts power and dominance over another (Stark, 2007). It serves as the foundation of abuse. Within a family system, coercive control causes harm to both adult and child victims."

Family estrangement can reflect either legitimate responses to past abuse or results of manipulation and coercive control. The term 'fractured attachment' describes how and why estrangement develops within attachment relationships. Validation of clients' experiences remains important, while clinicians must also evaluate for coercive influence that can produce false narratives and sever bonds with protective relatives. Coercive control is a pattern of domination that often relies on psychological tactics such as gaslighting, manipulation, intimidation, and isolation rather than physical violence. Coercive control damages adult and child victims and can originate within families or from external actors. Accurate assessment promotes client agency and the preservation of healthy relationships.

Read at Psychology Today