"Rejection sensitivity, or the conviction that rejection always implies disgrace, is a core feature of perfectionism, which can be defined as a coping mechanism for it. Yet, the fear of rejection associated with perfectionism doesn't resemble normal levels of it. People tend to fear rejection when it's potentially associated with those whom they love and admire, and with endeavors they find meaningful."
"I often differentiate between absolute perfectionism and relative perfectionism, the former meaning the desire to be perfect everywhere, all of the time, and to everyone, and the latter meaning the desire to cultivate (or become) the perfect "fit," creating an environment wherein one is respected and appreciated. Rejection sensitivity in this regard is based on absolute perfectionism, hence why it's so problematic."
"Basically, perfectionists often desperately want what they can't have, chronically searching for more approval and/or admiration, to become (or at least appear) perfect to everyone."
Perfectionism is driven by rejection sensitivity, a conviction that rejection implies disgrace, making perceived rejection feel disproportionately catastrophic. Perfectionists often idealize unavailable outcomes and devalue existing relationships and achievements, prompting chronic comparison and a relentless search for approval. Absolute perfectionism seeks universal perfection and fuels intense rejection sensitivity, while relative perfectionism aims for fitting in and being respected. Perfectionists may discount those who appreciate them and pursue social ladders instead, rejecting others as much as they feel rejected. Thoughtful reflection on what one has, lacks, and desires can reduce fear of rejection and ease perfectionistic distress.
Read at Psychology Today
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